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[Nov. 23rd, 200912:48 pm] |
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Something you say, will change in me.
Having stuff up to neck is terrible and for the next few month this should be what I'll be doing; work, work and work. Regatta was a big thing last year but this year, that used to be feelings felt so strange. Everyone is like the most familiar stranger. Some words have to be kept for awhile before they are let out so that it won't sound like an excuse.
I hope baby get that sufficient rest cos her schedule is almost like mine :
Jaden's schedule:
Monday-Friday : 0900 hours - 1800 hours Attachment.
Friday : 1900 - 0200 hours (am) perfect crust (second job)
Saturday : 1800 hours - 0200 hours (am) Perfect crust.
Sunday : whatever stuff that I don't get the time to get it done during the rest of the week.
Gina's schedule:
Everything the same just that attachment time is different.
Worst if she's in afternoon and the next day morning.
Anyway, either way she will drop dead.
Cambodia dates are nearing and I really hope I can handle it cos 10 days is no joking matter. So what if I have all the injection taken? No guarantee still and I'm really in a dilemma when it comes to 11th dec. I'm leaving on the 12th but the thing is, flight is at 630am so they actually intend to stayover night at changi airport. but on the 11th is B's birthday. hmmm and transport is a headache.
Ideas pleas come running to me, I wanna make friend with you. Dad is finally coming back like this thursday (: so can't wait and I hope ITE pay me soon if not no matter how many job I'm taking, I still will be the same. I'm working so hard because I want to change what I'm in now. BAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Turn yesterday back around.
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[Nov. 19th, 200902:25 pm] |
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I'm that weak.
Just that nobody know.
Watched 2012 with eldest, mom and B. All in all it left me feeling a lot. I've been working non stop and thinking back, it really wasn't a choice that I want. I have people constantly asking me to stop working but my respond will always be "eat what if I'm gonna stop working" but it wasn't the eating that concern me it was my family especially my mom. I don't want her to suffer anymore and I don't know how long more do I have to just make her everyday wonderful. I'm not rich. I can't feed her with high grade bird nest and make sure she's in good health. I got so limited time to just make everything right. Giving up something which I don't want just to make time. I really miss ***** ): I will get myself into a team no matter what. Though if time were to turn back, my decision will still be the same. On the surface, I'm so strong so strong that everyone would just take me for granted. I don't know if being strong is a good thing anymore. Because right now, I just wanna be weak. The real me that is feeling deep down, that wanted so much to just give up on everything. Yet I know I can't. Jaden just hang on cos everyone is losing grip of you.
Baby, I will make it right. |
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